Choose your status

OPM Wire operates a highly stratified status-based membership scheme. These are the status levels that are publicly disclosed.

Blind Squirrel

FREE!
  • Open to anyone, including total squares
  • You will get email updates on a delayed basis
  • Access to most posts
  • Everyone will laugh at you
Choose this plan

Self-Aware
Barefoot Pilgrim

$10
  • $10 PER MONTH
  • Full access to all private posts
  • Excel jockeys tolerated, but no total squares
  • Yes, "barefoot pilgrim" is pejorative
  • Get email updates earlier
Choose this plan

Super Premium
Wheeler-Dealer

$1000
  • $1,000 PER YEAR
  • Emails sent by premium service (not low-status Mailchimp)
  • Cannot be held concurrently with a CFA Charter
  • Can use CFBF instead (Chartered Financial Bullcrap Fighter)
  • Other undisclosed benefits
Choose this plan

How this works


  • Most of the main content on OPM Wire is free. Paid memberships are mostly a way of expressing where you belong on the social dominance hierarchy.

  • If you sign up for free (or have already done so), then your status is Blind Squirrel.

  • Super Premium Wheeler-Dealer memberships are subject to approval and can be revoked at any time, at OPM's sole discretion.

  • Newsletters you get from OPM Wire will identify your chosen status. If you choose to forward such emails to others, you could be exposed to status-based discrimination, ridicule or envy, as the case may be. Sad!

  • Your payment info is stored and processed securely by Stripe and never touches our servers.

  • Stripe was recently valued at $95 Billion - more than Blackstone, KKR and The Carlyle Group COMBINED. We trust that is suitably high-status for you.

  • Plans renew automatically, but you can cancel at any time before a payment is due.

  • Prices are subject to change, including for existing subscribers.

  • No discounts will ever be offered, as discounts are low-status.

  • For the same reason, no refunds will be given, except where required by law.